When He Won't Say Roxas Again
by The Number VI
Summary: Sora got a trouble about his other self, Roxas. Could Riku make him return to normal?


"_Roxas is my nobody, if I could, I would meet him,"_

"_Organization XIII has been looking for Roxas. Is he that important? I am nothing if they compare me with him,"_

"_I can't do it, I'm hopeless. Roxas could have done it," Each, he would say often as the other._

These days Sora always compares himself with his nobody, Roxas. If the subject somehow brought up Roxas, Sora would humiliate himself. He believed that his nobody was better than himself even though he knew it was _wrong._ His eyes always narrowed sadly when he talked about Roxas. Kairi and I know their differences and we tried to return Sora back to his esteemed self.

We failed.

"_Listen Sora, even though Roxas is your Nobody, doesn't mean you need to humiliate yourself," _Kairi said one day, but Sora's reaction was from sad to even sadder.

"_I know, but I just can't keep it straight. I feel like everyone doesn't need ME, they need the better me. I always make noises in everywhere I go. I didn't realize it, but there's an opposite thought in my heart. In my deepest heart, _someone_ said I shouldn't being doing it. But I didn't listen! I just feel I can't do what he says. I just feel like he's too kind! I just feel he's _not me_! He must be Roxas! And his opinion about my acts have to be true!"_ he cried out.

There's an exact opposite of him residing in his very heart.

Roxas is Sora's heart, his deepest heart. I thought both Sora's body and heart with Roxas' heart was going, but it turned out that I was wrong. Sora and Roxas have different personalities and makes Sora divided into different parts. He would act like Sora, easy-going and innocent, then act like Roxas, calm and a rather complicated way of speaking and thinking.

It was night; dark and silent. I lay down on a tree, not really feeling at all, but was massaging my eyes. Not because I was _really_ sleepy, but because I saw something strangely out of protocol.

_Sora._ He stood at the edge of beach, holding his Keyblade, with eyes looking up at the dark sky. He wore his usual clothing instead of pajamas, making me wonder if he was going to be swallowed by the waves.

I slithered down from the tree and walked over to him. When we stood close enough, I touched his shoulder and he turned his head to the side.

"Oh, Riku!" he said in surprise.

I smiled, taking a step forward so I was standing beside him, "What are you doing out here, at a time like this?" I asked, "Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"No, I'm not tired," he answered, his eyes drifting back to the sky as he spoke, "I was thinking"

"Thinking about what?" I asked him.

"Roxas and I"

He _said_ it again. If I didn't have enough of my wits about me, I would have snapped at him, maybe even smack him but I had enough to remain relatively calm.

"What about him?" I questioned mildly.

"Riku," his tone was calm and oh so different than usual. His head turned back to me for a moment before turning back again to the sky, "My name is _Sora_, right?"

I gazed at him confusedly, but still giving him a response, "Yes, why?"

"Then _Sora_ is my name. _Sora_ means _sky_, did you know that?"

I blinked. Since when had Sora become this poetic? "I didn't know that"

"Leon told me. He said I was different from anything he had ever seen or heard about. I'm higher than anything on this earth; I am the one who gave everything coolness. He also said that nothing could ever reach me."

I surprised with the explanation. I didn't know that Leon could think all that deeply but I agreed with him. I admitted that Sora is different from everyone, or maybe _everything_; he's the most treasured person I know and there is no one to equal him. He's the one that saved the world, the one that always thought positively after everything that had happened, and the one who deemed me worthy as best friend even though I had brought darkness into my heart.

_He's too special_.

"That's good, right?" I smiled at him, "Leon really does care about you."

"But, Riku, sky has two identities"

I shut my mouth quickly, _'More lyrical meanings. Two identities?'_

"Do you know why there's _morning_ and _night_?" he asked, his eyes still fixed on the night sky, "The sky's identities. The blue sky means _good_, and the night means _bad_. I wonder," he continued, "Which the one is me?"

I looked at him silently. He's lost in his thoughts; he seems like he lost his real identity Sora… or Roxas.

"I decided," Sora said, "I'm the dark one. I'm _bad_. I never thought of this before, but I act as if I'm the one who's going to destroy the world"

I kept calm, waiting for him to stop talking.

"I know it already. I know why Roxas has to be exist. Roxas has job to make me gone from this world. The bad one always loses to the good one, so Roxas was created to defeat me. But he didn't do it, why? Because he's _kind_ he let me live, but he defeats me gradually. I don't want to die, but… but Roxas is better, the real hero is him"

"Sora" Finally I snapped it was too much. If this kept going, Sora would become a heartless without any reason, or the worst, he'd commit suicide. I won't let it happen.

"Listen to me, Sora," I said, "Roxas is you, your heart! Roxas is part of you! What makes you do this to yourself? You know that's futile! How many times you praise him, he won't _live_ again! He's you!"

"No, he's not!" Sora returned with the same frustrated tone I used, "If he's me, Hayner and his friends would remember me as Roxas, they won't say 'Have we met before?' It's a proof that we're different!"

I almost lost my words to respond, but I remembered: Roxas memories, "You and him are the same! He lost his memories as Sora!"

"We're different!"

"You're not!"

"We are—"

Suddenly my hand moved by itself, slapping Sora's cheek. Sora was taken by surprise, so was I. He lost his balance, falling on the sand and rubbing his reddening cheek.

"Riku, you-"

"Listen to me, Sora," I ignored his wish of trying to talk, "Naminé kept you alive because she wanted you to be perfect. Perfect heart and body; Roxas makes you perfect. If he didn't, Naminé would have killed you."

Sora was silent for a moment before he answered me, "I feel like there are two people inside of me, the exact opposite of my own heart. It's not perfect anymore"

"I've felt the same way," I told him, "When I fought Roxas. I lost but I couldn't accept it. I had to win. At that time, I deemed Roxas as a stranger, not you. But that's because I didn't know him further. Actually, he does resemble you even in the the way you two fight"

"And then I thought I had to be perfect to win," I continued, "Even though I had to lose my body as Riku, even though you didn't notice it when we meet, but I had to be perfect. I had to lose something if I wanted to be perfect. You'll become perfect, but you have to lose that calm inside your heart."

Sora gazed me surprised, like he'd seen a ghost. His face had fallen, tears coursing down his cheeks.

I was nearly surprised from the change, but I was close to him and bent down, touching the trail of tears on his face, "Sora, I'm on your side."

"No, my heart, I'm afraid, Riku!" He placed his hands on my chest, "My heart is strange. I weird, you're my best friend, but sometimes I deem you as an enemy! Help me, I can't do this! I'm afraid I could kill you without even thinking about it!"

I keep silent. So, is it right? Roxas deemed me as his enemy? It's a _bit annoying_, since I realized that Roxas and Sora was the same person. I placed my right hand on top of his head, caressing his hair, "Don't worry, there must be another way"

"But I don't know, I even look at Kairi as Naminé although I don't really know exactly who is who"

"It's okay."

"But, Riku-"

"Let's be positive point. Your heart is divided, which means I will be here with you forever, to protect you."

"Riku?" He looked at me with confusion in his blue eyes.

"I will be here with you forever," I stopped, "together with Kairi, of course."

Sora's eyes widened, "But I'm afraid"

"You'll get accustomed with it after all, if you try to kill me, I'll have to kill you."

"…"

"Just a joke," I smile when I saw him pout.

"Riku can _joke_?" He asked; his tone was that of mocking and so were his eyes. He was showing the little of Sora I hadn't seen in weeks.

"Yes, yes, I can joke, Sora," I huffed, trying to break this soon-to-be climax less conversation, "Let's sleep, it's late."

He nodded, a wide smile spread across his face, even though his eyes were still full of tears. I wanted to touch them, to take them from Sora's beautiful face but I couldn't. It's not the right time to show my affection for him… My best friend.

He walked to the tree I had lied down on earlier. His gaze was once again to the sky before I could follow him. He was lost in thought, gazing at the dark sky.

"Riku," he announced suddenly smiling, "Now I'm happy to have Roxas in my heart."

His blue eyes met my own steadily, with a wide smile and those innocent words, were surprising. It was amazing, Sora had changed back.

Maybe Roxas would never erupt from his mouth again.

I smiled in relief while watching him make his way under the night shade from the moon shinning so brightly. As he moved, I couldn't keep the want of embracing him from behind any longer, but I knew I couldn't do that. Not now.

At least, I'll say '_I love you'_ when the time was right…

When he wouldn't ever say 'Roxas' again.


End file.
